Rant: Stinky MF'ers...

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Evan!

Evan!

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Joined
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Gotta vent.

So I'm doing my little part-time 5 hrs/week at the wine/beer shop right now. This dude just came in looking for a case of Hofbrau Lager...not the best stuff in the world, IMHO, but I digress.

As soon as he walks past me, the BO stench smacks me upside my head like a sack of doorknobs. WHAT THE HELL!!?? I had to mouthbreathe the entire time he was in here...and it's not like he looked too raggedy or homeless or anything...he was all dressed up in brand name stuff...but he smelled like he's been running a marathon for 3 days in this summer heat without a shower or deodorant. It seriously almost made me gag. He's been gone for a good 5 minutes, and the smell is still lingering.

What is wrong with people? They may as well just walk around sh*tting everywhere. :mad: Is it that hard to take a shower, wash your clothes, or at the very least, wear some deodorant? If he can spend $40 on a case of beer, he can surely afford to wash himself and his clothes. Damn.

/rant
 
I was a TA for a lab this summer and there was a kid in one class that had the same problem...sweaty-out-in-the-Atlanta-heat smell. I had to move to the other side of the room to avoid it...I felt bad for his lab partners. Once some guy made a comment about needing to take a bath...I had to bite my lip not to laugh.

I know some people have medical conditions that may result in this...if this is the case I apologize.
 
In the submarine community there are alot of dirty fxcks. It becomes a health issue real fast. On my last deployment many of the hot-rackers (guys who share bunks in shifts), got scabies and other weird skin problems. Your screwed if you are a clean guy forced to bunk with a pig.

I just don't understand why people are afraid of soap and water. Maybe they bent over in the shower and had a bad experience???

I remember being stuck on an 4 hour flight behind a lady with severe B.O. That sucked as well.
 
When I was a nuc prototype, one guy had a genetic foot odor problem. Since we bused 90 minutes to the site, he 'volunteered' to bag his feet for each trip. I pitied the sub he was headed to.

Then there was this gay guy I worked with, who didn't bath Thursday-Sunday. Said his BF liked him to save up the smell for the weekends.
 
Evan!, weren't you mentioning earlier that it's like 200 degrees in Virginia these days, with like 150% humidity?... :confused:

I mean, I dislike B.O. as much as the next guy (well, apparently more than the B/F of David's former colleague), but you've got to cut people a LITTLE more slack in August...
 
Could be worse Evan. You could work here:

underarm.jpg
 
McKBrew said:
In the submarine community there are alot of dirty fxcks.
Click to expand...

Are you actually able to maintain normal hygiene on board? By normal I mean daily shower, shave, etc. I was under the impression that you had to sacrifice certain amenities while underway. Then again, our submarine budget consisted of buying a few old deisel units from the Brits. One caught on fire and we had to call for help. :( :( :( What the hell do I know?
 
Evan! said:
Gotta vent.



As soon as he walks past me, the BO stench smacks me upside my head like a sack of doorknobs. WHAT THE HELL!!?? I had to mouthbreathe the entire time he was in here...and it's not like he looked too raggedy or homeless or anything...he was all dressed up in brand name stuff...but he smelled like he's been running a marathon for 3 days in this summer heat without a shower or deodorant. It seriously almost made me gag. He's been gone for a good 5 minutes, and the smell is still lingering.


Maybe he was French ?
Click to expand...
 
Had to work with this guy from time to time that had a BO issue. It came to a head when we both had to work in a cubicle side by side for several days. My manhood felt compelled to speak up and at the same time my professionalism demanded tact. I told him very nicely that his deodorant was failing him.

Next day he showed up reeking of BO and a liberal slathering of deodorant. My eyes watered.
 
I work on the same floor as the Russian Consulate here in Seattle. Apparently, baths aren't near so frequent culturally there as they are here (or so say a co-worker that lived there for a year).

Their solution to this problem is almost worse, which is gallons of cologne. I can tell when one of the has been on one of the elevators 20-30 minutes after they get off because of the lingering smell of cheap cologne. Its horrible.

I think I'd almost prefer the smell of unwashed Russian.

-D
 
Soap dodging b@stards the lot of them. There is no excuse for being smelly. And please - no strong perfumes please, just wash for fecks sake.


EDIT : That first comment was not meant to be directed at the russians.
 
Brewer3401 said:
Maybe he was French ?
Click to expand...

Na French tend to be clean (maybe not the peeps in LA)...Russians on the other hand tend to smell bad especially sailors.
 
Evan! said:
...
As soon as he walks past me, the BO stench smacks me upside my head like a sack of doorknobs...
Click to expand...


Good thing it wasn't a sack full of buttholes.
 
McKBrew said:
I just don't understand why people are afraid of soap and water. Maybe they bent over in the shower and had a bad experience???
Click to expand...
Some people are forced to not bath as much as others. I for one suffer from Aquagenic pruritis (I'm allergic to water). The after effects of a simple shower is reminiscent of being staked over and ant hill and covered with sugar water for 2½ hours.

Wild
 
wild said:
Some people are forced to not bath as much as others. I for one suffer from Aquagenic pruritis (I'm allergic to water). The after effects of a simple shower is reminiscent of being staked over and ant hill and covered with sugar water for 2½ hours.

Wild
Click to expand...

That blows man, I had never even heard of it. In your situation I totally understand and was only relating to people who have hygiene problems without a medical condition.
 
Fingers said:
Are you actually able to maintain normal hygiene on board? By normal I mean daily shower, shave, etc. I was under the impression that you had to sacrifice certain amenities while underway. Then again, our submarine budget consisted of buying a few old deisel units from the Brits. One caught on fire and we had to call for help. :( :( :( What the hell do I know?
Click to expand...


The diesel boats tend to have that issue, US doesn't have any left. On a nuclear submarine water is rarely an issue. I never went more than two days without a shower.
 
The last two times I showed up to work without having showered in the morning or the night before, it was really weird... Both times, women were standing unusually close to me. One even ran her fingers through my hair. I'm sitting there, trying to get away, thinking to myself, "Oh, ****, if she gets any closer, she's gonna smell me..." and then there she is... standing a full foot closer and like touching me and running her hands through my hair and stuff. WTF?!!!

For the record though, it's extremely well known that I'm dating someone. So I do have that "totally safe guy" vibe going on, but still. It was very apparent that the two days I didn't shower, I had women standing noticeably closer.

Pheromones, I guess. There must be something to it. :mug:
 
Hah, the submariners might have an excuse, but a lot of the people I work around don't. I work in computer labs on the engineering campus of a university, and I've become convinced that several people live in the library and/or computer labs. Which means no hygiene whatsoever. Seriously, I can walk up and down these aisles of computers and pick out all these people who have not left the building in a week, just be smell alone. The worst are the computer chip designing students; I have to clean the layers of gunk that they apply to the mice every couple of weeks. At least a 1/16 of an inch buildup. I completely do not mean to be racist or stereotype, but it's always international students from the Asian continent. I think that they just have a different standard to go by.
 
lol, my mom is a manager at one of the local Kroger's (grocery store) and there are a number of guys that come in on a regular basis with intense BO. I've had the unfortunate pleaseure of seeing and smelling 3 of them - As my mom and her staff call them - "Mr. Pee Pants" - a guy that wanders the store for approx. 4-6 hours a day, pissing in his pants about every hour with the occasional BM... leaving it all in his pants until he leaves.

The other 2 are what they call the "BO Twins" (consider that mmy my mom is 57 years old, and most of the other ladies in the office are older as well - that makes this even more ammusing to me). I think that this is a father and son and holy hell do they stink. I could literally smell them an aisle over. I guess I'm just a sick bastard because I followed them when my mom pointed them out to me just to see how bad it was. i swear that BO Twin Jr hadn't seen a shower for at least 6 months.
 
A friend of my roommate comes over alot after he gets out of work and he works outside so he always stinks really bad. I wouldn't care too much except he always sits on my furniture and leaves his foul stench on the upholstry. That **** lingers for a good 8 hours or so:mad: He's not really my friend so I don't want to tell him he smells like dirty ass but I'm getting sick of my couch reeking

:off: Even worse, the other day he comes over and pours himself a beer(without asking me, of course) and does a crappy job of it and ends up with a pint of foam so he just keeps running the tap until he gets a pint. He must have wasted 3 beers to get one...
 
cnbudz said:
A friend of my roommate comes over alot after he gets out of work and he works outside so he always stinks really bad. I wouldn't care too much except he always sits on my furniture and leaves his foul stench on the upholstry. That **** lingers for a good 8 hours or so:mad: He's not really my friend so I don't want to tell him he smells like dirty ass but I'm getting sick of my couch reeking

:off: Even worse, the other day he comes over and pours himself a beer(without asking me, of course) and does a crappy job of it and ends up with a pint of foam so he just keeps running the tap until he gets a pint. He must have wasted 3 beers to get one...
Click to expand...

Both of those things are grounds for an ass-whuppin. Especially the second one. It's not a bar, you're not a bartender, you're not tapping Bud Light, and nobody likes you. So feck off. Next time just shank the doofus. :cross:
 
I had this Hindian guy in one of my classes, and MAN did he stink. Must have been one of the religious devotees who didn't believe in showering. I couldn't handle it. On some days it made me want to puke. The odd thing is that I thought vegetarians were supposed to have BETTER B.O. than us carnivores.

I have oily skin and hair, so I have to shower daily at least once or twice. And I'm into body spray, cologne, etc to make me smell better.

Soon after I met my wife, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant and had to cease using all deodorant for a week. I was so embarassed that I wouldn't raise my arms when I was near her. The smell was terrible.
 
Yeah, Cheese, I hear you on that. My first year in college I got put into a pretty nice dorm...co-ed, only 4 floors, you know, NOT the nasty male tower-dorms where people pissed in the elevator more than in the bathrooms. So come second year, I scored high in the lottery (high number, meaning bad news), so I had the choice to throw myself to the wolves and probably end up in one of those big towers, or keep my same room. Easy decision, that.

Until I get a notice in the middle of the summer, long after I've committed to the room, that the dorm was now the international dorm. I was understandably upset, but I had no idea at the time how bad it'd be. For some reason, there is (or was, at least) a disproportionate foreign student body from Pakistan & India. And those bastards stink something awful. I don't know why...maybe showering isn't important in their countries...but walking down the hall on our floor was like a smörgåsbord of nastiness. If it wasn't BO, it was some kind of nasty stinky dish that they were preparing (I believe that their #1 spice in native peasantry Pakinstani/Indian cooking is BO drippings). It was a harrowing year.

A friend of mine lived down the hall, and he got placed with this nasty piece of shyte from the Caribbean. My friend had a running tally on his door's dry-erase board of how many days it'd been since his roomy had showered. I believe the record was 36 days. And he had this big pile of clothes/trash in the floor...he'd actually pick clothes from the pile (clothes with had been sitting amongst old pizza boxes, etc.), and wear them around. It was enough to make you wanna murder the guy...especially given that as soon as my friend would get into bed, the roommate would wait less than 5 minutes, not even verify that my friend was asleep, and start beating off. Like 5 feet away, wankin it. Ugh.
 
My freshman roomie was a ROTC fella, so he got cubic yards of army gear he had to fit into our 10x11 cube of a dorm room. He'd clean it it up about once a month, but in between he'd just throw his dirty laundry and gear behind his bed, or when we got it, the futon, and it would slowly accumulate until the stuff was halfway across the room. My second year was much better with a good kid and in a room twice the size, but the once nasty thing he did was never wash his sheets the whole year.

But I think you win the dorm nasties, Evan!. At least the kids in my hall were kind enough to save the wanking for the shower stalls. And yes, shower-sandals were unoficcially mandatory.

Of course, you run into the occasional conversations like this:
Neighbor 1: I know you watching porn last night.
Neighbor 2: Hows that?
1: I could hear your TV.
2: Well, I know you were watching porn last night.
1: Oh, how's that?
2: I couldn't hear your TV!

**hurray for super thin walls...
 
Evan! said:
...especially given that as soon as my friend would get into bed, the roommate would wait less than 5 minutes, not even verify that my friend was asleep, and start beating off. Like 5 feet away, wankin it. Ugh.
Click to expand...

Puke... mouth... little....

You know the drill. :cross:
 
OMG! You guys have me laughing my head off.

My kids and I were in a store when this old guy and his wife walked past us. Right afterward this wall of stink about knocked us over.

All of the oxygen was G O N E.

Of course, me and my kids are a bunch of social retards and we start snickering and tittering. I mean, this guy was rank! Looked as normal as anyone.

Then he couldn't find something so he went and got an employee to help him find it. I still don't know how the guy survived it.

HAD to be a medical condition. Nobody would be like that on purpose, right?

Never have been back to that store, and I sure won't go back in if I see that red VW concept car outside they got into.

Oh, and the smelly germans at Sea World... Made me want to jump in the tank and be Shamu food. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

But you would have to know something about what my business is... I am one of those horrible stink bombs sometimes too. I trim cow hooves and get covered in cow stuff and sometimes infectious diseased goop. No matter how you hose yourself off you cannot render yourself clean or clean smelling.

Most people just grin and bear it knowing I'll be going out the door soon.

At least it is after a long days work and I go directly home to shower.

Petunia
 
Evan! said:
the roommate would wait less than 5 minutes, not even verify that my friend was asleep, and start beating off. Like 5 feet away, wankin it. Ugh.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry, but there comes a time and a place when you gotta say "Willing or not, someone is leaving this room right now. And it ain't me..."
 
Evan! said:
Infectious diseased goop? Remind me to never do a beerswap with you, Petunia. :D
Click to expand...


I'm with you on that one Evan!, Mad Cow Ale just doesn't sound very appealing...

Petunia, an ex-girlfriend used to give her dog cow hooves as chew toys, the dog loved the things but once they got a little moistened from the chewing you could smell the nastiness throughout the house and it was absolutely disgusting...
 
Petunia said:
OMG! You guys have me laughing my head off.
Click to expand...

Ditto... <tears rolling down my cheeks>

:off:
Petunia said:
My kids and I were in a store when this old guy and his wife walked past us. Right afterward this wall of stink about knocked us over.
Click to expand...

Oh man, kids... My little girls way of making us aware that she knows something is bad/not allowed is to say "We don't <insert action here> do we?" Recently in the grocery store she proclaimed to all within earshot "We don't get really fat like that do we mommy..." behind a particularly obese woman. Now neither of us has missed too many meals, but I wanted to crawl in a hole and die...
 
Evan! said:
Infectious diseased goop? Remind me to never do a beerswap with you, Petunia. :D
Click to expand...


I solemnly swear that I do not brew beer or make wine in my just arrived home from work and I stink real bad clothes. Usually, I am not allowed to do ANYTHING except proceed directly to the bath tub. :D

pldoolittle, my my how those little babes can sum up a situation! My daughter at the age of 4 said at the top of her little voice, "Someone sure stinks!" she was right tho. I remember when my oldest boy a toddler first saw a black man, he said: "That mans brown!"

No cnbudz, it's mad cows ail. Bet I'd get a whopper of a ferment going tho! Probably fill the dang pantry up and stick to the walls forever!

:)

Call the Hazmat dudes...

Petunia
 
Hemi said:
Na French tend to be clean (maybe not the peeps in LA)
Click to expand...

/rant :

Have you been to France! It stinks. Maybe it is not the people (I doubt very much - have no time at all for the arogant half-wits) and it the country as a whole. I have been there about a dozen times and they do STINK. Garlic, cig smoke, bo, yeurgh. Plus they are rude and there is no excuse for that! Should nuke them. /rant over
 
dibby33 said:
/rant :

Have you been to France! It stinks. Maybe it is not the people (I doubt very much - have no time at all for the arogant half-wits) and it the country as a whole. I have been there about a dozen times and they do STINK. Garlic, cig smoke, bo, yeurgh. Plus they are rude and there is no excuse for that! Should nuke them. /rant over
Click to expand...

In my experience a lot of big cities in Europe stink. Best I can describe it is a combination of cigar smoke and sewers. Some American cites smell like this too.
 
Worst place I ever smelt was Hong Kong. Even coming into land at the airport you could smell it. Was like a big giant jobbie several hundred metres long was lying on the runway baking under the hot sun. STUNK!!!
 
Ha! You guys have it easy. I live near a bunch of amish and you talk about stinky mofos. The whole romanticized simple life amish thing takes a hike the first time you are in line in a store behind some of them after a day slopping hogs. Oh my god it's bad. The women too. It's truly horrible.

This whole non-smelly thing is a recent invention. I guess back in the Napoleanic days smelly was good. Girls would stick an apple in their armpit or other areas and stink it up good and give it to their hubby or boyfriend to sniff while they were away. One time Napolean wrote Josephine and told her, "Don't bathe, I'll be home in 3 days."

BLECH!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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