Evil (and possibly also "mad") Scientist plans

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Any other Evil Scientists out their plotting world domination?

You don't have to be a "mad" scientist, but you should be an evil one.

I'm currently trying to invigorate fire with a life force. Anyone else had any success with this? I've tried draining the life force from various types of humans and I've not had any success getting fire to become "alive".

I thought I had a spark of life there but it fizzled out after 15 seconds. I think I might try draining the life force from a box of kittens. Well, all but one. Ralph over there looks kinda messed up. He seems so cute. Damnit, having a kitten running around is really going to ruin my Evil scientist rep.

 

[s3n8]

I am still looking for venture capital funding for my million dollar idea... A kidkennel. Wanna run out for a nice evening or weekend with the mrs? Put Jr. in the kidkennel, there will need to be some automated feeding and watering aparatus, as well as full plumbing, and a drain in the floor to take care of the spent food and water. There could be several options, soundproofing, glass (think kidquarium). Doublet and triplet models... Sky is the limit.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

I am still looking for venture capital funding for my million dollar idea... A kidkennel. Wanna run out for a nice evening or weekend with the mrs? Put Jr. in the kidkennel, there will need to be some automated feeding and watering aparatus, as well as full plumbing, and a drain in the floor to take care of the spent food and water. There could be several options, soundproofing, glass (think kidquarium). Doublet and triplet models... Sky is the limit.

Have you thought of adding some sort of tread mill or other power generating device in the kidkennel? Might as well capitalize off the energy generated from the food you have to feed it. (it being the child).

 

[Rick500]

Perhaps a big wheel the child could run in would be just the thing.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Perhaps a big wheel the child could run in would be just the thing.

or for portabilty (storage in the back of a car for instance) a wheel they oculd crawl in. You could blind fold them then have a speaker behing them with the sounds of a vicious barking dog playing for insentive.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Eureeka! My preliminary tests with the zombie beer have been a success. All 10 of the subjects were turned into regular zombies!!

Still a lot of work needs to be done in order for this beer to created mutant super zombies though.

 

[travestyofnature]

So yeah, this declining economy is forcing me to seek a new evil genious to hench for. That and I think Cheeto is slipping a little.

 

[Cheeto]

From the Zombie Plan Thread hadn't realized Cheeto was suffering so much from this recession. Or is there another reason you are leaving his employ?

I have a Evil scientist thread going now. I think i've hijacked this one enough.



Hmm... My mutant zombie horde should be immune, but if any of you are still worried about random normal zombies, I'll come up with some ideas for you. I have to parse them for trade secrets first though.
__________________

yeah the times are really hard in the realm of Subversive plotting, The Democrats and Republicans are doing all of the work themselves and kinda putting me out of work,

But I can Vouch for the abilities and effectiveness of Travesty, although he will drink you out of house and home !

He is really talented at putting people against each other.
and He is very good arguing with anyone about anything.
Also not a half bad a driver either but remember to pay him before you use him as a get away driver!!! (long story didn't turn out well)

if you need any other info just ask !!


-Jason

 

[travestyofnature]

Wait, when did you start paying me?

 

[Cheeto]

you were paid quite well !

 

[travestyofnature]

That was diesel..... It still hurts when I pee.

Oh wait, that might be from a different experiment.

 

[travestyofnature]

.....and thats when I learned that dead bodies are game for 'ANYTHING'!

 

[s3n8]

or for portabilty (storage in the back of a car for instance) a wheel they oculd crawl in. You could blind fold them then have a speaker behing them with the sounds of a vicious barking dog playing for insentive.

Pure frickin genius.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

In the words of Elvis... Thank you, Thank you very much...

I know that's what he says cause he's right here. Elvis ain't dead..he's undead. Long live Zombie Elvis!

 

[EvilTOJ]

An evil scientist thread was started without me? Oh for shame. If my winged monkey experiments were complete I would release them!

 

[arturo7]

Can I hench on a part-time basis? I could use the cash.

 

[RedIrocZ-28]

The coolest thing I have ever seen/done is bombard an air bubble inside of a container of water with microwaves in an attempt to create cold fusion.

Strangely, I was witness twice to an explosion of water from the container (a coffee cup).

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

An evil scientist thread was started without me? Oh for shame. If my winged monkey experiments were complete I would release them!

Well, you here now. Winged monkeys? Nice one. Are they easy to control.

I think next time I will scip zombies all together. Thgye make for suc boring company, all drueling and such. And if I hear one more request for more "Brains", I'm going to napalm the lot.

 

[travestyofnature]

Ralph over there looks kinda messed up. He seems so cute. Damnit, having a kitten running around is really going to ruin my Evil scientist rep.

See, this is why I'm leaving Cheeto's employ. Its hard to keep up your evil henchman rep when your evil genious is really only about as evil as a box full of kittens.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

See, this is why I'm leaving Cheeto's employ. Its hard to keep up your evil henchman rep when your evil genious is really only about as evil as a box full of kittens.

Well, upon reading that I stick Ralph on a catapult and launched him into the mouth of a volcano.

 

[Cheeto]

See, this is why I'm leaving Cheeto's employ. Its hard to keep up your evil henchman rep when your evil genious is really only about as evil as a box full of kittens.

Damn it,

I keep a box of kittens around for a light afternoon snack.
I cut back on them because of my Cholesterol and now you are making fun of me!

You know I really don't want to mention what you did to those midget hookers,
but if you keep it up I will have to!

-Jason

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

Hmm.. Should I turn the rest of these kittens into zombie kittens or werewolf kittens. Not sure of the latter is possible though. I will have to experiment.

If successful I could start handing out free kittens to school children. They would bring home the adorable critters, then when their families least expect it..wham.. little werewolves that cause mayhem.

My only concern is, if you cross kitten with werewolf, would they spend all day chasing themselves?

Oh and cheeto, have you ever tried deep frying them? I do that with Chihuahua puppies, add some jalapeno peppers and it's a Chihuahua popper.

 

[travestyofnature]

Damn it,

I keep a box of kittens around for a light afternoon snack.
I cut back on them because of my Cholesterol and now you are making fun of me!

You know I really don't want to mention what you did to those midget hookers,
but if you keep it up I will have to!

-Jason

A: Its a proven fact the eating p*ssy is low on calories and cholesterol, but high in fiber (sometimes).

and B: I'm short enought to be considered a midget in some states and thats what hookers are for-ish.

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

I don't know travesty. If I hire you I will have to keep an eye on you. A lot of my vampire minions are hot females.

 

[travestyofnature]

But then there would be more young vampires for further experimentation. See by molesting and undoubtedly, impregnating your hot female vampires, I am still following the unofficial henchman code of conduct by enabling you, the Evil Scientist, to further your research with the added material I am helping to supply. Also there is that added drop of chaos factor added in to challenge you a little and keep things progressing. I like to add a little something special to all my work.

Speaking of, why does it still hurt when I pee?!

 

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

But then there would be more young vampires for further experimentation. See by molesting and undoubtedly, impregnating your hot female vampires, I am still following the unofficial henchman code of conduct by enabling you, the Evil Scientist, to further your research with the added material I am helping to supply. Also there is that added drop of chaos factor added in to challenge you a little and keep things progressing. I like to add a little something special to all my work.

Speaking of, why does it still hurt when I pee?!

True, but the company Henchman Health plan doesn;t cover vampire bite nor becoming undead. I also need ot be able to send you out for supplies and not have you biting people on the way. Low key operation here.

I mean other than the lighting and creepy sounds eminating from my Giat castle, and the sign that says "Evil Scientist Lives Here", none of the locals knows what goes on here.

 

[alemonkey]

I have a DesquirrelinATOR to rid my back yard of those pesky tree rats!

Oh yeah, and also to Rule the World!

Is it bad that my favorite show was intended for my 5 year old daughter's demographic?

 

[travestyofnature]

Well maybe its about time that I put my true Henchman leadership skills to the test and branch out on my own. Maybe start a minion outsourcing company. For those evil scientists that are hurt by todays lagging economy and can't afford to keep lots of minions on full-time staffing. I could provide those extra minions for temp staffing during larger projects and experiments. At the end of the experiment, wipe memories for the security and secrecy of the last scientists work and send out to the next one.

 

[SchizoFilly]

I've read mention of zombies, vampires, werewolves, midgets, and kittens.....I thought this was supposed to be about evil scientists and world domination or something of the like? So far it would only take one man to defeat you. For you ideas to have even the slightest glimmer of hope for success there is only one path forward. Bruce Campbell must die.

 

[bottleopener]

I'm currently developing the "doublekitten."

You attach the forepaws of a kitten to a spinning centrifuge until the insides of the kitty have been pushed towards the back, leaving the front end an empty bag of kitty fur. Then you take a newborn kitten and stuff it into the front part of the prepared kitten.

A couple stitches later, and you have a double kitten.

Twice the fun in the same amount of space!

 

[Cheeto]

Hmm.. Should I turn the rest of these kittens into zombie kittens or werewolf kittens. Not sure of the latter is possible though. I will have to experiment.

If successful I could start handing out free kittens to school children. They would bring home the adorable critters, then when their families least expect it..wham.. little werewolves that cause mayhem.

My only concern is, if you cross kitten with werewolf, would they spend all day chasing themselves?

Oh and cheeto, have you ever tried deep frying them? I do that with Chihuahua puppies, add some jalapeno peppers and it's a Chihuahua popper.

I perfer hot dogs

on this Chihuahua popper thing can you fill them with cheese or wrap it in Bacon ?

-Jason

 

[travestyofnature]

mmmmm, wrapped in bacon.... Have you ever tried cat wrapped in bacon and slow roasted open an open fire? Me neither. I just had so much fun roasting it I never got around to eating it.

 

[EvilTOJ]

Ugh, I've had so many problems with the Henchmen HMO that I've had to drop the plan for awhile. It was just too hard getting claims processed. Aside from killing them all in the shark tank or drafting them into my experiments, anyone have good health plan alternatives for the underlings?

 

[arturo7]

I hench on a contract basis, kinda like a mercenary, so I carry my own insurance. However, I am quite a bit more expensive that the dregs you can get at your local graveyard.

 

[Cheeto]

Health savings plans !

That is where it is at!

Most of them will never live long enough to use it.
But it is there for that little bugger that tries to pulls through after a questionable lab explosion!

 

[travestyofnature]

Thats why I think my temp-to-hire minion business is going to take off. Since they are temp employees they have no health care. If you accidently end one of my minions, I will happily send you a replacement. It would actually make me a little extra money. For the first couple days of the week, he worked for you, I wouldn't have to pay out because he's dead. I could easily pass that some of that savings on to you. If they minion I supply you doesn't make it to the end of the week, you pay half price!